


Love The Way It Hurts

by Zeath



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Human, Beating, Disability, Humanstuck, M/M, Physical Disability, Prosthetic legs, Stockholm Syndrome, Verbal Abuse, Victim Blaming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-27 02:59:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1712507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeath/pseuds/Zeath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tavros and Gamzee are happy in their relationship until something goes wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love The Way It Hurts

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: abuse, lots and lots of abuse.

I am in love with this wonderful, creative man who I was best friends with in school. He used to smoke pot in college but he quit that when he graduated. We had an old fashion high school sweetheart relationship, except the part where we were both guys, but that doesn’t matter. We met at school in the ninth grade because I moved over from another school due to bullying about my legs and stuff. Doesn’t matter, I was proud of my legs. 

Anyway, so we hit it off straight away, I was really happy I had a friend, even if he was a stoner, he was nice to me. We were best buds for just over a year before the feelings started, you know those feelings like butterflies in your stomach and getting really shy around him and getting a little adventurous in your thoughts. Yeah, those. 

Around five months later we started dating, we found out we liked each other quite easily actually, Gamzee was helping with my prosthetic legs because it came loose, so he knelt down and started tightening it and this girl asked if we were dating. Gamzee said yes as a joke and the girl went really crazy about it, she took off saying she knew it and a week later everyone thought we were dating. It was a little stressful but Gamzee said he said we were dating because he wished it were true, and that’s when I said I liked him to. So we just kept going with the feelings and didn’t care what anyone said, even though most of them were just all squealing over us. I don’t know why though. 

We dated all the way through tenth grade and to the present day we are still going strong. We even have a house together in this really nice neighborhood, though our neighbor is sometimes really loud. We also have steady jobs, I work in a pet shop, looking after all the cute little kitties and puppies and bunnies and there’s even a lizard. I named him Eridan after my bully in high school because ha ha get it? Cold blood? 

Gamzee works in a cinema, stamping tickets and giving out food from behind the counter, which is actually really cool because he can get us tickets to any movie half price. Our food is free too so we always got lots to stuff our faces with. 

With the beginning of our relationship it was a little rocky due to it being in a school, we had exams and some people bullied us about being together but I paid no heed to them because I was happy. I don’t mind that Gamzee gets a little frustrated sometimes, normally we’d just have sex and he’d he calm again but it slowly got worse until he was actually shouting at me, which he had never done before. 

He shouts about how much he hates me and how I am a disgrace because I’m immature to his needs and cares. He says how he wants me dead, how I should have died at birth. Once he even hit me because I came home late one night, he said he was scared for me and I apologized but he went back to yelling at me about how I should have never been a part of his life, that I stress him out too much. I pleaded to him that I was sorry and I never came back late again. 

The one thing he doesn’t shout about is my disability, which I am thankful for. At least I know where his boundaries lie. 

He kept coming at me for a long period of time, months on end. He had excuses for everything so I was always the one to blame and he had to give me punishment because I was such a terrible person. It was only five months later that he used violence all the time. 

He made another excuse to lash out, saying something about me not doing enough round the house, how I’m such a waste of space. He hit me then, a slap across the cheek and he ended the one sided argument by going up stairs and slamming the bedroom door shut. I don’t know what I did but I knew that I had done something to upset him or he wouldn’t have acted as so. I must have deserved this. 

Slaps turned into punches turned into a full on beating. He would break skin and leave nasty bruises that I had to make up stories to my concerned customers as to why I was in such a state. 

I never stood up for myself; I took it all because I thought I deserved the harshness he treated me with. It was my fault for making him so angry; I had to deal with the consequences of his actions. I blamed myself because it was like I had to reassure Gamzee that I was his and only his, that I wasn’t going to leave and that I loved him even if he hurt me. 

It wasn’t enough for him anymore; he beat me every day and said it was my fault. The only time I actually understood what was going on in my life was when a customer brought light into my eyes. She was nice, kind of a cat obsession going on because she wore a cat eared hat, kitten paw gloves and a tail attached to her belt. She was cooing over the new kittens we had brought in and she turned to me about the price of one when her face went front happiness to horror. 

Gamzee had beat me that morning so I had a cut lip and a torn eyebrow, because he hurt my face a couple of days ago as well, I had a black eye and a bruise cheek. I looked like a right state. She asked me if I was okay and I said yes, she tried again by replying with another question, that one I had always gotten: what happened to your face? 

I told her the same old lie to get people off mine and Gamzee’s back; there was a new animal that wasn’t fitting in properly into the pet shop and it gave a nasty fight when I tried to put it into a cage. She obviously didn’t believe such a bullshit answer so she started again. It was like an interview, she asked if I had a partner and I happily replied with a yes. She spoke about if the wounds on my face came from them and I had to pause, gulping. 

She took that as a yes and searched through her kitty purse to fetch out two cards, she gave them both to me. Asked he to call her any time I wanted, she also gave me the line for “survivors”, an abusive relationship group session. I set it in my pocket and nodded, saying I would if I needed to and she was happy with my reply and left without another word, didn’t even talk about the price of buying the cute kittens. 

When I came home, I had another set of punishment thrown at me, apparently I hadn’t done the dishes before going to work and I was paying for that right now. He shoved me against the wall and screamed in my face, pulled my hair and kneed my gut until I was a gasping mess. But this time it wasn’t going to end the way he wanted, I pushed him back and with my still reassembling breath, I ran up the stairs with him chasing behind me, obviously in a rage about me fighting back.  
I locked myself in the bathroom and quickly got out my phone, pulling out the number for the crazy cat lady and dialing it before any other thought was going to come through my mind. 

“Hello?”

There was banging on the bathroom door and screeching from Gamzee, I took a breath and responded. “It’s the pet shop owner you met today. I’m locked in the bathroom at my house and I’m trapped. He’s coming for me and I’m scared he’s going to kill me. Help.”


End file.
